Netflix’s ‘Sexy Beasts’ Is Ridiculous—and Surprisingly Boring

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Why do individuals watch courting reveals? Forget high-minded rationalizations about up to date sociology and mating rituals—the true cause isn’t deep. To be blunt, it’s simply plain enjoyable to ogle handsome individuals as they preen for each other. Always has been, at all times will likely be. The new Netflix actuality sequence Sexy Beasts, a reincarnation of a British program of the identical identify, understands this primary reality and engineers its episodes round it, all whereas pretending to reject it. Instead of judging one another’s appears to be like proper off the bat, the contestants don elaborate make-up and prosthetics to cover their faces, saving the hot-or-not reveal till the top of every episode. It’s a canny premise. Alas, Sexy Beasts is extra attention-grabbing to consider than to observe.

In every set up of Sexy Beasts, which premieres at this time, three suitors vie for the love of 1 particular person, with everybody reworked right into a creature to obscure their look. A pleasant panda will get courted by a tin man, an alien, and a bull; a wolf should select between an owl, a troll, or a dinosaur; and so forth and so forth. After a primary spherical of dates, there’s a primary spherical of rejection, with a loser despatched residence. After the second spherical, the method repeats. After every rejection, viewers and members get to see what the particular person despatched residence appears to be like like. Then, on the finish, the profitable suitor meets their match face-to-face. The result’s a present purporting to be about taking appears to be like out of the equation that’s, essentially, a present about giddily anticipating whether or not somebody you’ve hit it off with in dialog is as smokin’ as you’d hoped. (The contestants are inclined to favor body-conscious clothes, with tight attire or biceps-outlining shirts meant to sign attractiveness. It seems like dishonest, however oh properly.) The present doesn’t redirect contestants’ focus away from appears to be like a lot as make them extra fixated on unearthing hotties.

When the Sexy Beasts trailer got here out, its bonkers make-up artistry and high-concept gimmick have been sufficient to generate a thousand furry-joke headlines and scores of Twitter reactions. It regarded like a certain wager for Netflix. The Masked Singer, a vocal efficiency competitors present, has the same conceit, with contestants hiding themselves behind entertainingly elaborate disguises, and it has proved a monster hit for Fox. I’ve my doubts about Sexy Beasts’ endurance, although. The ultimate product is simply too boring. Host Rob Delaney, a gifted comic, is so toned-down as narrator, you may’ve instructed me an AI was doing the voice-over and I’d have believed you. The make-up is genuinely spectacular—if solely they’d included some type of behind-the-scenes bonus episodes concerning the technique of taking it on and off!—however the dates are bland, with fill-in-the-blanks banter. Casting went gentle on villains and oddballs, leaving a likable however uninteresting roster of affable individuals who politely prod each other’s chin prosthetics whereas laughing.

To the final particular person, everybody on the present is strictly as generically handsome as an actor in a dish cleaning soap business, which is comprehensible (choosing clearly bad-looking individuals to take part would’ve been merciless). But it signifies that it’s a present the place the reveal is at all times “Oh, turns out they were hot, damn.” That will get previous fast! In distinction, the masked singers on The Masked Singer are at all times C- to Z-list celebrities, which makes it a significantly extra gripping and assorted guessing sport.

If something, Sexy Beasts is the uncommon present that seems like it might’ve labored higher as a Quibi providing. If every episode was, say, 5 minutes lengthy, it’d be a stronger product, because the premise and the top reveal are the one compelling elements. But whereas it doesn’t get excessive marks for leisure worth, it’s notable for the way forthright it’s as a courting present. Despite grabbing consideration for its outlandish costumes, it options courtship habits that’s way more down-to-earth than its courting competitors predecessors. One contestant admits she’s solely there to interrupt a dry streak, and she or he is visibly relieved when she’s eradicated. An American participant notes that selecting a suitor from England makes an actual relationship between them unlikely, however she had enjoyable anyhow.

I’ve at all times discovered reveals like The Bachelor and its spin-offs to be excruciating watches; the agreed-upon narrative that contestants are genuinely trying to discover long-term dedication beneath such contrived circumstances is, for me, concurrently unbearably cynical and unbearably ridiculous. With a couple of exceptions, the contestants on Sexy Beasts overtly embrace the ridiculousness and cynicism of its premise. They seem like in search of a enjoyable time, to get pleasure from their very own 22 minutes of fleeting Netflix fame. There are a couple of contestants, just like the party-girl panda, who pay lip service to desirous to make an actual romantic connection on the present, however most members appear to view their appearances as a dedication someplace between swiping proper on Tinder and occurring a 3rd date. This is refreshing, and it lowers the ethical ick issue—nevertheless it additionally lowers the stakes significantly. Instead of a dramatic, tear-filled rose ceremony, the beasts of Sexy Beasts are dismissed fairly casually and stroll away with out arduous emotions. There’s no synthetic heartbreak. But as soon as the novelty of seeing individuals dressed up like legendary creatures and zoo animals wears off, there’s a determined lack of spectacle to watching two pleasant-looking and agreeable individuals agree that they’re each pleasant-looking and agreeable. If the showrunners of Sexy Beasts  have been as breezily sincere as its contestants, it might have had a distinct title. But, after all, Moderately Attractive however Strangely Boring Beasts doesn’t have a lot of a hoop to it.

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